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| Ajit Jokes |
Raabatt, isey thodi shampane pila do, paheley shame sey, phir pain sey mar jayegaa...
Scene: Ajeet thouroughly disgusted with Mona daaa..arrling's typing.
Ajeet: Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
Raabert: Magar kyoon baas ?
Ajeet: Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.
Ajeet: Raabert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur debugger starrt kar do.
Raabert: Lekin kyoon, baas?
Ajeet: Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge.
Ajeet: Raabert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?
Raabert: Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakka maar raha hai.
Ajeet: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega. Lunch break mein usse phone milana.
Raabert: Yes
Boss.
Ajeet: (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards, tumhari Maa hamare kabze mein hai
.......
Scene: Ajeet comes to know about the traitor in his gang.
Ajeet: Raabert, ise ShamePain mein daal tho, agar Shame se nahi mara to Pain se mar
jayega.
Scene: Giving a decision as to how the hero should be killed.
Ajeet: Peter, time bomb le aao aur is saale ko usse bandh do. Timer ko teek das bajhe set
kar do. Nahin nahin, yeh saala to sub cheez hamesha late karta hai. Iska mauth bhi late
hona chahiye. Timer ko panch minute late rakh do. Arre, Raabert, Raabert,
bevkoof, silly
fellow, time bomb ko yahan peh math rakho, yeh to 'no-smoking' area hai. Ha haa ha. Time
bomb 'tic tic tic tic' karke bajega. Aur iska dil 'tup tup tup' karke dhatakega. Tum agar
paas me khade hoge to tumko 'tic tup tic tup tic tup' suanaai dega"
Ajeet: Rabert! isko eraser se maar do, yeh mar bhi jayega aur mit bhi jayega
Raabert: Boss! Aaap ko kaun si teen chiz sabse jahyahda pasand hein boss?
Ajeet: Ek Mona, Doosra Sona, aur Tisra, Mona ke saath Sona
Peter: Boss? Sona kahan hei?
Ajeet: Tum chahe jahan bhi sona, lekin mujhe to Mona darling ke saath sona!
Scene: Ajeet spots one of his is enemies...
Ajeet: Maikal, woh jo admi ghadi pahne tumhe nazar aarahaa hai, woh hamara mehman hai. Tum
ja kar uske doosre hath mein bhee gadhi pahna do...phir woh do ghadi ka mehman ho jayega !
Scene: Ajeet is escaping with his men in a helicopter...
Ajeet: Kuch hee der mein hamara helicopter hindustan ki sarhadon ke pare door birmingham
mein hoga. Wahaan tumhe ek kaale rang ki sioorlett (cheverlett) nazar aayegi. Wo tumhe
signal degee...on..off..on..off
Raabert : Boss..hamara signal kya hoga ?
Ajeet : bewkoof...off..on..off..on...
Raabert: Boss? Is kaa kyaa kare boss?
Ajeet: Rawbert! Is pille ko liquid oxygen me daal do. Liquid ise jeene nahi dega, aur
oxygen ise marne nahi dega.
Peter: Boss? aur is pille ka kyaa kare boss?
Ajeet: Peter! Is saale ko super-conductor me daal do, saala bus mein ticket dete-dete thak
jayega.
Peter: Boss is saale ka kya karen ?
Ajeet: Ise microprocessor mein daal do...BIT by BIT marega !
Robert: aur boss..iska kya karen ?
Ajeet:Ise hamlet poison khilado...sochta rahega, to be or not to be !
Robert : Bass, mujhe actor banna hai
Ajit : Dilli ke laal kilay pe khade ho jao, Raabert
Red-ford ban jaoge !
Ajit : Robert, isko Harshad Mehta poison pila do
Robert : Kyon Baass ?!?
Ajit : Stoopid, phir yeh GROWMORE sey NO MORE ho jayega !
Ajit : Robert, isko CENTRIFUGE mein daal do.
Robert : Kyon Baass ?!?
Ajit : Stoopid, taki hamen paata to chale ki chakkar kya hai. !
Robert : Bass muje minister banna hain !
Ajit : Tum ek file mein baith jao, apne aap cabinet
mein chale jaoge ! !
Ajit : Peter, tum motor mein aao,
maneckshaw tum rickshawmein aao,
mikael tum sikael pe aao,
aur han mona darling, tum nahaati raho ! !
Ajit : Peter ko babysitter bhej do,
Tony ko pony pe bitha do,
Mack ko pack karlo,
Aur Mona Darling, Tum hume naach dikhaon. !
Ajeet : Maaikel, hamare mahmaan ke baayen haath mein
Citizen garhi hai. Jaao uske daayen haath mein yeh HMT garhi
baandh aao.
Robert : Pur kyon bass ?!?
Ajit : Isse woh do(2) garhi kaa mahmaan ho jayega.
Ajit : Raabert ise Pascal Poison pila kar mar do !
Robert : Pur kyon bass ?!?
Ajit : Ha, Ha ! Taki uska begin se end ho jayega !
Ajit : Raabert, Ise varnish mein daal kar mar do !
Robert : Par kyon bass ?!?
Ajit : Ha, Ha. Mar bhi jayega, finish bhi acchi aa jayegi.
Ajit : Raabert, ise duster se mar dalo !
Robert : Par kyon bass ?1?
Ajit : Ha, Ha. Woh mar bhi jayega aur mit bhi jayega !
Ajeet : Raabutt, use TNT se uda do !
Robert : Lekin baas, TNT kyon, dynamite kyon nahin ?
Ajeet : Bevokoof, is-se yeh NTT se nan-NTT ban jayega.
Ajit : Acha hua George Bush ne Manuel Noriega ko pakad liya !
Robert : Kyon Bass !?!
Ajit : Heinh, heinh, heinh, Noriega bans na bajegi bansuri !!
Ajit : Robert is secretary ke haath kat dalo !
Robert : Kyon bass ?!?
Ajit : Usey typing to ati nahin, short hand kar legi !
Robert : Bass, muzhe twins huen hain, unke naam kya
rakhon ? Ajit : Peter aur Re-peter
Kate aur Dupli-cate
Robert : Bass, muzhe triplets huen hai. Unke naam ky
rakhon ?
Ajit : Peter, Re-peter aur Chin-min-chow !
Robert : Par Chin-min-chow kyon bass ?!?
Ajit : Stoopid, is duniya mein har tisra bacchha chini
hota hai!
Robert : Boss, Mona Ko Australia Dekhna hai!
Ajit : Ise ek pa-ather kay sath bandh-do aur samundar me
phekh do.
Robert : Kyoon Baaasss!
Ajit : Ta-akee Wo DOWN UNDER chalee jaye-gee.
Scene: Ajeet ordering his chela to kill the enemy
Ajeet: "Raabert, Ise varnish mein daal do, saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish bhi aa
jaayegi.
Bob: Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon, mujhe headek ho raha hai.
Ajeet: Abe head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padegak.!
Scene: Ajeet ordering his chela to kill the enemy
Ajeet: "Raabert, Isss Haramzaade ko social security pe daal doo. Saale ko Society
jeene nahin degea aur security isse marne nahin degea.
Scene: Raabert and Ajeet are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs a hole and water
starts coming inside. Raabert is perplexed !
Raabert: Boss ab kya hoga ??
Ajeet: Raabert Ek aur hole bana do , aur ek hole me IN aur doosre me out lik do . Ek hole
se paani ander aayega aur doosre se bahar chale jayega !!
Scene: Ajeet is worried about something. Robert is facing him.
Ajeet: Shanker kaal bahuth bada maal Versova beach per aane wala hain..... A pause.....
Tum chootti le lo.
Scene: Raabert had twins and comes to the "Boss".....
Raabert: Boss, mere dono bachon ke liye koi naam bataiye..
Ajeet : Ek ka naam rakho Peter....
Raabert: boss or doosre ka ?
Ajeet: Repeater.
Scene: Raabert had triplet and comes to the "Boss".....
Raabert: Boss, mera teen bachche ka keya naam shoche hein aap?
Ajeet: Ek Naam rakhkho, Peter, Repeater aur Wang Chung.
Raabert: Teesra ka naam "Wang Chung" kiu boss???!!!
Ajeet: Beokuf, tumhe malum nehi...is prithwi me paida hone waalaa har teesra bachcha
Chinese hota hai.
Ajeet: Raabert, is bail kaa stool test karo.
Raabert: Stool, boss ?
Ajeet: Aakhir pataa chale ki ye bullshit kya cheez hai.
Scene: Ajeet get's hold of his favourite hero & then directs his chela.
Ajeet: Maikal, Is saale ke ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath mein hara rang laga do.
Maikal: Lekin kyon baas?
Ajeet: Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi to ise range haathon
pakad legi. he he he....
Scene: Raabert and Ajeet go for shikar...Raabert spots a peacock...
Raabert: Boss....more.. more...
Ajeet picks up the peacock, shoots it and says...
Ajeet : Nomore !
Robert: Bass is gaddar ka kya karen ?
Ajeet : ise sui chubho chubho kar mar daalo... pulees samjhegi sui-cide hua hai.
Peter: bass yeh aadmi to kuchh boal hee nahin rahaa...
Ajeet: Ise revolving chair pe bitha do, pataa to lage chakkar kya hai.
Ajeet: Raabert, dayna (Diana) ko kuch khatta pila do.
Robert: kyu boss ?
Ajeet: Bewkoof, woh dayna se daynasour ho jayegi, phir extinct kar dena.
Do you know any more ? Add it to the list and let the list go on !
Jai Hind